Delusion…. belief in something that is simply not true.

scarlett-cheerleader

The cheerleader (pom pom’s and all) in my brain wont shut up!!!

“ D… E L…. U S …I O N ….. Delusion, Delusion you live in a Delusion”.

I unfortunately live in a life, of delusion.

I am constantly deluding my self, that I am part of a family where in reality. I am only a guest here.

I delude myself that I am safe, when in reality I am far from safe.
I realize, that the life I live is only want “I” want to see, and this can be taken from me anytime.
Yesterday my rose colored sunglasses were snatched off!!!
………………………..
I feel myself going into panic mode right now, trying to make myself feel safe.
I have too much stuff and material things around and cannot escape without a trace. How did this happen to me, I have always lived the life of a minimalist. And now I have so much stuff and material things that are not my own.
I inherited them from my grandmother who was the keeper of the family heirlooms, don’t get me wrong I am honored that it was all entrusted into my hands … BUT… right now I am feeling trapped.
I can’t run!
I don’t have a home of my own for all these keepsakes.
I was fine when I was in my “Delusion” that I was living in my husbands home and part of a family. But reality hit me hard yesterday,

The cheerleader in my brain wont shut up!!!

“ D… E L…. U S …I O N ….. Delusion, Delusion you live in a Delusion”.

She just won’t shut up!!!!

and i just want to cry

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7 thoughts on “Delusion…. belief in something that is simply not true.

      1. I feel freer when all the clutter is packed away… I have been a serial mover all my life and now i am married and “settled” in my delusion of feeling safe. Was reminded that, was a big…….NOT! I have never in my life had, in-law problems till now. Just to show that we are only guests in their family, NOT part of the family. “You are only here cause our son happened to marry you”. Sucks especially when you live on their property.

        Liked by 1 person

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