What! it’s November!

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So many plans so little time

I feel like the White Rabbit

running and racing

running and racing

time is my only competition.

I actually had a 50th

birthday this year and it passed

with out celebration

-WOW-

New Life New Leaf

I have stepped 

through the looking-glass without

hesitation.

Drop it & Stop it

and

Begin again.

Life is coming at me so fast

like waves crashing against

the rocks with a fierce

Passion.

*SHOCKED*

That I am able to

keep up with it all.

New life New age

New business

New language

New rules

New New New New

NEW!

……………………….

shhhhhh i love the unexpected.

 

written by Issa 2018

Why do we break ourselves?

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It’s so CRAZY

we break ourselves

all the time

then have the nerve

to put the blame on others.

I have learned

with my many years

on this Planet

that is

if am not well

and feeling

BROKEN

I must look inward and

“Start to Fixing”

Because as we all know

so well

no one can fix

our broken pieces but

Ourselves.

Broken

Delusion…. belief in something that is simply not true.

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The cheerleader (pom pom’s and all) in my brain wont shut up!!!

“ D… E L…. U S …I O N ….. Delusion, Delusion you live in a Delusion”.

I unfortunately live in a life, of delusion.

I am constantly deluding my self, that I am part of a family where in reality. I am only a guest here.

I delude myself that I am safe, when in reality I am far from safe.
I realize, that the life I live is only want “I” want to see, and this can be taken from me anytime.
Yesterday my rose colored sunglasses were snatched off!!!
………………………..
I feel myself going into panic mode right now, trying to make myself feel safe.
I have too much stuff and material things around and cannot escape without a trace. How did this happen to me, I have always lived the life of a minimalist. And now I have so much stuff and material things that are not my own.
I inherited them from my grandmother who was the keeper of the family heirlooms, don’t get me wrong I am honored that it was all entrusted into my hands … BUT… right now I am feeling trapped.
I can’t run!
I don’t have a home of my own for all these keepsakes.
I was fine when I was in my “Delusion” that I was living in my husbands home and part of a family. But reality hit me hard yesterday,

The cheerleader in my brain wont shut up!!!

“ D… E L…. U S …I O N ….. Delusion, Delusion you live in a Delusion”.

She just won’t shut up!!!!

and i just want to cry

Limbo

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Floating in Limbo

is not hot or cold

up nor down

forward nor back.

I’m trapped in Limbo

and i can’t get out.

There is no color in here

how did I get in here?

How do i, get out?

I NEED COLOR

back in my life,

does anyone know

I’m even here?

Or does everyone

think I’ve simply

disappeared.

Written by Issa

Painting by Neith Nevelson