It’s so CRAZY
we break ourselves
all the time
then have the nerve
to put the blame on others.
I have learned
with my many years
on this Planet
if am not well
I must look inward and
“Start to Fixing”
Because as we all know
no one can fix
our broken pieces but
I am trying to think of a reasons to stay……
I have a million to go
because that is what I know.
I believe we have only one live to live,
if we are not happy then we need a change
When we have gone around and around the same problem
then we should step out of the trodden circle we have made
and make a new path.
Why should I stay when I feel to go.
My mind starts working on exit plans …..
Non are an entrance plan….
I have no more spoken words
they get confused by who tries to hear them,
So now I go in to silence,
working from the inside
With a casual mind, ask yourself.
Are you who you say you are?
Subconscious or Conscious, that is the question!
Growing up as a young child having a Monkey Mind that is extremely busy, I would actually ask my self this. Maybe it stems from always getting into trouble and having an adult ask me, “Child, what were you thinking?” or “Think before you act or speak.”
I did not like myself very much as a child and truly wanted to be anyone but who I was, so I submerged myself into my books of fairy tales. I was always the princess being saved by the handsome prince. As I got older I needed not to be saved but I needed to do the saving, so I wanted to be a superhero with powers.
So in my teens I came up with:
My religion is my own, it’s called Issaizm.
There are only a few rules:
– Treat others how you want to be treated
– Try to respect the life you have.
-Try and be helpful to friends and strangers.
-Try to be as honest as you can be.
-Try to meet and respect as many people who are different from yourself, this is where true learning and self-building comes from.
-Don’t expect help from those you help.
YES you do see the word “Try” a lot in the rules because we can only try. I do believe in Manifestation / Prayer / Chanting. This is where free will comes into the picture and this is easy for most everyone. But for it to work, this is where a few of the above rules come into play. Our subconscious mind is powerful more so than our conscious mind.
I can “say” I am happy for my friend who found love finally. (conscious mind)
But if the Subconscious mind is saying, “Why her not me” you are defeating yourself.
Your subconscious should be saying, “When it is time, I will meet the right person”
This has taken me a tremendous amount of work throughout my lifetime so far and in my late 40’s I can answer the question above in this manner.
I don’t know if I am who I say I am but I believe to be I am.
I can actually say that I am living a life of my own design finally and is always trying to better myself by learning from others. To hopefully have the best life possible.
And be Casual.
No matter how perfect ones day life is
all the bad things come out in the night.
smells of wet damp
because I have no choice
it all becomes comforting
because it’s my truth.
Feeling blessed and able to share blessing is how my day has begun.
I woke up on my own
laid in bed stretching.
picked up the house
got dressed to go walking.
Had a beautiful 50 min walk on a trail
full of flowers
growing in fresh soil
running river, sunlight and shade.
Picked up salmon stakes at the store.
While leaving saw a woman in distress, car trouble
I parked and helped her push the car to the side of the road so not to cause traffic. I was surprised at people who did not stop to see if she was alright, but they honked their horn because she was in the way.
Stopped at a bar
got a fresh squeezed orange juice.
Got another, just to hit the spot.
thinking on how to
prepare the salmon for lunch,
feeling the sunlight on my arm
feeling blessed and ……..
passing it on.